Thursday, August 02, 2007

British PM Recovering after Joyride with President Bush

Note to Reader: I Made This Up

The nascent relationship between newly appointed British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and President Bush is off to a shaky start after Mr. Brown suffered what a spokesperson has labeled “a balls-out pukefest” following a ride in a golf cart driven by President Bush at Camp David this morning.

The Prime Minister became ill about one minute into the excursion on Golf Cart One when, after completing a turn around the assembled press corps in what was intended to be a photo opportunity, President Bush began to accelerate at an alarming rate, racing around the crowd at speeds clocked over 75 miles per hour.

The scene on the ground was one of complete bedlam, with members of the press corps running for cover and feverishly attempting to make last-minute phone calls to loved ones. Morgan Fanbert of the Associated Press stated, “I left my camera guy in the dust and hoofed it out of there. I really thought he was going to take out the corps.”

According to Fred Butler of WDEM in Dover, “At one point, the cart was doing what can only be described as ‘wheelies.’ A huge cloud of dust got kicked up, but I caught a glimpse of President Bush grinning and heard him yell out, ‘Yeeeeee-haaaaaaaaw!!!!!!!!!!’”

Secret Service agents were eventually able to corral the cart using a Bradley M3 Fighting Vehicle. Mr. Brown, who emerged “puking his guts out,” was quickly wheeled off in a stretcher and treated at the infirmary.

When asked to explain the incident already being dubbed “Cartgate,” President Bush stated, “I thought ‘ole Gordie could handle a little down home Texas tomfoolery.”

Mr. Brown, who despite an artificial eye and some lingering vertigo felt well enough to “Wii it up” on the Presidential La-Z-Boy by Monday evening, is expected to make a full recovery. It is not currently known whether he intends to join the First Couple for a formal Tex-Mex dinner with all the fixins’ at the White House Sunday evening as planned.

1 comment:

tesilein said...

Are you a writer for The Onion?