That's my daughter.
Which is why every morning, I get up at 6:45 with the proverbial rooster (What? The rooster gets up at four?) to shower, have a cup of coffee, and eat a bite (MUST EAT) before the monologue begins. And that's how I got the boo-boo on my head today, trying to jump in the shower before said daughter spied me.
Just after turning on the water, I heard the pitter-patter of little feet coming down the hall. Then the sound of scratching at the door, followed by the doorjamb being shimmied in the way that someone who's just learned the procedure or comes from a country where there are no doors would do, then a glimpse of the little moppet head in the hula girl pajamas.
Head voice said, "GO! GO! GO! There's still time!"
But I had been discovered, and I didn't have a snowball's chance in H-E-double-hockey stick, anyway, because did you know how loud your noggin' smacking against the shower head can be?
"Good morning mama!!!!!!!"
Her happiness at seeing me is totally genuine, completely transparent. She has no idea that, each and every morning, I shamelessly plot ways to shower, drink coffee, and eat (MUST EAT) before she and her brother wake up. And there I am, hiding behind the shower curtain, holding my head and swearing (in my head voice, of course.)
What is wrong with me? MUST DO BETTER.
So I'm thinking maybe I'll hook myself up to an IV that will automatically begin pumping caffeine and nourishment into my body around, say 5:00 am, while I sleep, so I can be ready for my precious little ones at 6:45.
Are there any other morning kid dodgers out there? Because I would feel really bad if I was the only one.
But I would still do it.
The Moppet
8 comments:
Funny. I've poured my cereal in the living room so my 3 year old wouldn't hear me and realize I'm up. It's okay to want some time alone!
I would totally dodge my kid if she were any older.
p.s. My parents set up the next best thing to a coffee IV. They have a coffee pot sitting next to the bed--set on automatic timer, of course. And they bought a mini fridge and put it next to the bed to store the milk in. So they really just have to lean over. No, I'm not kidding.
Ha ha! Mine is too little to dodge right now. He is still put-in-the-crib-with-the-mobile-able.
I hear ya, JJ!! Remember to share that IV with me, too!!
OMG I do the same thing. Mine in still in the crib so instead of pitter patter it's gooo gaaa over the monitor.
I think of the shower/eat/coffee ritual of my way to make a good mommy. Without it, mommy is a mess.
Of course Mrs. Brady wouldn't do this - she didn't have to. She had Alice.
OMG -- yes! I totally dodge L in the mornings. The stiring/talking in the crib sends me running to the door to leave the poopy butt for the nanny! Glad I am not the only one.
Luckily -- well not really -- L has a speech delay, so I don't need to avoid the talking. Although, I am sure I will once he starts.
she's so cute.
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