- All's I can tell you, ma'am, is that reverse 911 only works if you answer your phone.
- Well, yes, it might show up on your caller ID. But, again, reverse 911 only works if you answer your phone.
- The purpose of a neighborhood watch group is NOT vigilante justice, sir.
- I am sorry that the sonsofbitches in city council forced you to dismantle your electric fence, sir. The likely reason was that it is a danger to the community.
- No, I don't believe that 100 volts is considered "just a tap."
- Please sit down, sir!
Notes to Self:
- In future, avoid sitting next to the lady who has over 100 pictures of empty cans collected from the vacant lot next door on her cell phone and wants to share them with you.
- Don't make jokes about the city ordinance that prohibits eating in your car.
- When the possibility of drug deals being witnessed is brought up, DO NOT ask what kind of drugs are being dealt. Especially do not say, "What are they dealing, if you don't mind my asking? 'Cause if it's just a little wacky tabacky, well then . . .
- PUT HOUSE ON MARKET.
18 comments:
YES!! to the last bullet. Rapido.
- Heidi
i SO want to move to the suburbs...
sonsofbitches is RIGHT! Last bullet is indeed a good note to self.
Wait . . . this sounds familiar. Did you move to my neighborhood?
Don't be surprised if the Can Lady wants to use her cell phone to show you pictures of cannabis plants at the next meeting.
On the other hand, if you stay, you will probably have enough posting material to get you through NaBloPoMo.
That's always the best place to meet all the neighborhood wackos... a city council meeting.
Wow, we don't even have a neighborhood watch. It's just a free-for-all up in here. I should probably start one... cause there's the kid next door who's basketball always bounced into MY yard, and the old people speeding on their lawn mowers and what not.
They're bringing down the whole neighborhood.
I TOLD you to tell the P-Dog to take down his electric fence. And he was convinced that his was gonna be the "one they didnt notice".
God love Detective Dave. You couldn't pay me a million dollars to do that job.
Tip: Next time you take a seat, place a rumpled piece of Kleenex tissue on the seat next to you. Since no one wants to touch a used tissue, you'll have plenty of elbow room. (It worked for me all the time on the Chicago subway...) :)
"wacky tabacky"
you crack me up.
I am with Rebecca. The suburbs would be a great place for satirical fodder.
Funny stuff.
Perfectly illustrates why I haven't been to one. I'm afraid to find out what's happening in my 'hood. I don't really want to know why the helicopters circle overhead every night.
Ha! You got yourself some interesting neighbors.
This cracked me up so much.
A woman in our community asked if we had an anti-spitting ordinance. what do you say to that? Maybe she should visit the Wacky-tabacky guys in your 'hood.
wow, your neighbors sound GREAT!
Holy cow!
I don't think this neighborhood is big enough for Rimarama and Mama Drama. What say you?
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