I was all for it.
After all, who wouldn't rather receive a single, high quality Soap-on-a-Rope than an assortment of Christmas applique dish towels, a commemorative cookie platter, a year's subscription to L1thuanian Heritage magazine, a jumbo mug full of Brachs hard candies, a pocket book of notable quotes, and a pair of foot gloves? (For instance.)
Problem is, the Rama clan are rookies when it comes to the name selection process.
While sitting around the table digesting turkey and finishing off the wine last night, we set to the task of assigning giftees, and it's just possible that Middle East peace accords have been negotiated more swiftly and efficiently than our gift exchange procedures.
"Do couples count as one person?"
"Hell, no, couples gifts su-uh-uck! Dude, do you really want another coffee table book?"
"No, seriously, couples gifts suck, you guys. I'd rather go giftless than get another freakin' couples gift." (hiccup)
"Calm down, Rimster."
"Are we supposed to keep our person secret?"
"But how will the people who aren't here know who to buy for?"
"I'd imagine someone would give them their slip."
"Fine, Einstein, but if someone draws for them, that person will know who they got!!!"
"You put the names in an envelope, dumbass."
"Is there a price range?"
"That's a retarded price range."
"I'll show you a price range, kids."
"What if I pick myself?"
"No, seriously, guys, what if I pick myself?"
And so forth.
A few hours later, the following conclusions were reached:
- Couples are individuals.
- It's a secret.
- Those not present for the drawing will receive their giftee's name in a sealed envelope.
- It will be delivered by armored vehicle.
- Price range is $20-$50.
- No one is allowed to go to Big Lots or the Dollar Store.
- If you pick yourself, well then Merry freakin' Christmas.
Three seconds later:
"What are these envelopes for?" (My dad)
"Can someone read mine out to me, I'm not wearing my bifocals." (Grandma, passing her opened slip of paper around the table.)
"Darn it, this person is impossible to shop for, do you want to trade?" (Mom to Grandma.)
"I don't care, honey, but how will the person I picked know they're supposed to buy me a gift if I'm not allowed to tell?" (Grandma to Mom.)
"Where's my envewope? I want an envewope!" (V-meister)
When we got home last night, the P-Dog triumphantly waved his opened slip of paper under my nose:
"P-D-O-G"
was written in big, bold font.
He spent the remainder of the evening singing "Merry Christmas" to himself and talkin' bout all the shopping he needs to do.
Anyway, we'll see what happens come December 25th.
18 comments:
Oh my GOD is this funny! It's like a Seinfeld episode!
That was so hilarious! We're always trying to figure something out over Christmas. We did the gift xchg thing a few times, not secret, and people share their wishlist. A bit civilized, a bit boring.
At least your experience has been quite hysterically blog-worthy!
still laughing.
:)
thanks
Too funny!! I remember Christmases like that, although I was a kid listening in to the adult conversation.
Enjoy...hope it works out... :)
We used to do that too. We still got gifts we didn't need (uh, a BBQ utility belt! Th-thank you?).
Now we all just buy a $10 gift (read: alcohol or chocolate) and do a "Mystery Santa" kind of thing.
PS: You crack me up!
Funny! Our family used to do that until people traded names so often to get their preferred giftee that some people didn't get gifts at all. Tricky business . . .
Dude. I hope that's just for extended family because I'd be pretty pissed if P-Dog didn't pony up a present for me if I were you.
Terrific! Another variation on the sucky couple gift is when two friends hook up, become a couple, and from then on out you only get one gift from the "couple" instead of two. Wus up with that?!
I googled "Secret Santa" to get a handle on the rules. Don't feel to badly. Apparently it's quite complicated as this web site indicates: http://www.secretsanta.com/action/page?pageId=16
Can't wait to hear what happens! P-Dog is sooo lucky!
You have a funny family!
In our family, we would just buy a unisex gift, then we'd draw numbers out of a bowl. Whoever got number one would choose a gift first and open it, then the person who chose number two could steal their gift, or choose a different one from under the tree, and so on and so forth. Gifts can't be stolen more than three times. As you can imagine, hilarity ensues.
I hope you have a wonderful time! Just a word of advice--everyone can use a gravy separator. Get one of those, and you're gold!
Our gift exchange turned ugly last year, when my husband thought his sister had given him a gag gift, and it was actually something she had made. Oops.
OMG, that was hilarious. And who wouldn't want a subscription to Lithuanian Heritage magazine BTW?
I hope he gets himself something REALLLLLY nice. :)
LOL! Your clan rocks.
I particularly loved this line:
"I don't care, honey, but how will the person I picked know they're supposed to buy me a gift if I'm not allowed to tell?" (Grandma to Mom.)
Your sweet Grandma!
Heidi
I'm laughing my head off. What a scene that must have been!
I think technically, the rules imply you're supposed to put your name back if you draw it. But clearly, P-Dog got the best end of that stick.
Thats too funny! is he going to buy himself something and wrap it up, only to unwrap it day of? That would be classic!
Too funny! My mom's family used to do that when I was little, until we all sorta went off in our own directions for Christmas.
Now the wimminz all get together and do an ornament excange the way Avery described. I got stuck with the most horrible pig ornament one year. NO ONE would steal it from me. My mom still has it and hangs it up every year.
O.M.G. that is so funny!!!!!! Great post!
We have this same thing! My FIL used to first make everyone pick a number (and you had to pick numbers for your kids) then he did some complicated procedure where numbers were matched up or mixed up and it all took WEEKS for him and MIL to figure out and get back to everyone who they got (who had you was a secret). It was mid-Dec before we ever got names and that e-mail came with a demand for ideas for each family member to be sent IMMEDIATELY so MIL and FIL could take another week to send those out because it was all a secret so you couldn't contact the person directly.
I'd rather buy for everyone than do it again. My sister-in-law does it now with a simple names in the hat thing and no stupid secrecy. Much improved.
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