And $210.00 in library fines on my card.Until this morning, I was the only member of our family who was even eligible for a library card.
Oh, how I flaunted my stoopid-fresh book borrowing powers, ever-taunting the P-dog with my esteemed status as sole Rama household library card holder.
You see, the V-meister and J-dog are not yet old enough to wield library cards, and the P-dog was banned from our local library system back in 1985-ish, when his mom discovered his dresser drawers stuffed to the gills with a couple years worth of overdue library books.
They had to rent a U-Haul and drop them into the outdoor book return bin under cover of darkness.
The replacement fines were never paid, and the P-dog relinquished his book borrowing privileges.
Until The Year Two Thousand, when the two of us were joined in holy matrimony and my untarnished reputation as a stellar library patron, and the card that came along with it, were at his disposal once again.
Those days are over, my friends.
Because I just found out I am being charged $210.00 in fines for overdue books that are now considered lost or stolen.
TWO HUNDRED AND TEN SMACKERS!!!!!!!!
(I knew I shouldn't have checked out the Magna Carta.)
No, no.
It seems that I am being charged a replacement cost of $30 apiece for seven books which are currently sitting on my side table.
Oh, I'll admit I have a bad habit of disregarding those pesky little library e-mail notices. You know the ones:
"Dear library patron, this notice is to inform you that overdue fines are accruing on the following materials blah blah blah boring boring boring . . ."
(Delete.)
It usually takes me a few days to click the link that would enable me to renew them online (because that would entail walking across the room to get my account number from the swipe card on my key ring), but I always do, just in the nick of time.
However.
This time, I swear on all that is good and holy, they never sent me the gosh-diggity-darned warning e-mail, and now all of a sudden I'm on their Most Wanted List!
The replacement cost for There's a Wocket in My Pocket alone is THIRTY BUCKS!!!! (Is it really possible that a wocket could be worth that much?)
My only hope is that the actual overdue fines (which I am too chicken to look up at the moment) are less than the replacement cost (did I mention that it's TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS?).
Either way, it looks like the P-dog and I are going to have to don the old ski masks once again tonight and do another book deposit drive-by.
After that, I can only assume it's the Witness Protection program for us.
I'll still blog, but I may have to change my URL.
30 comments:
LOL!! I hate to think of all I would owe if it wasn't for the midnight book deposit runs. Finally I gave up and buy my books. At least there is no one yapping at my heels if I take too long. :)
LOL! That's why I'd rather go to the bookstore instead
Wow! That tops my record of $110.00 in Grad School. I'm sort of impressed.
Nice banner!
As for the books, pshaw. Wocket costs maybe, MAYBE $6.95 on Amazon. I smell a scam...
I have left a loooong trail of overdue library fees in my wake moving all around in the last few years. Its scary.
That ain't a Wocket in your pocket: it's a GPS, installed by the library policia.
Be afraid, Rima.
I am continually amazed at how much kids books cost, but $30? Your library has a scam going! Maybe they are also charging you entertainment tax.
Library due dates are no laughing matter. Those people are a part of the Literary Mafia. You'll be lucky to get out un-whacked.
And, yes, that does seem excessive for seven books. It should be closer to half that much. But, again, you played with fire when you checked them out. I hope you've learned a valuable lesson--library books are for people with death wishes!
Take library fines seriously. A few years back when applying for a mortgage loan we were told there was a problem with our credit report. We always had perfect credit so went over the reports to find out if we were victims of identity theft. I couldn't believe it! We had library fines! The worst part is that I had returned the books on amnesty day in our library system and somehow hadn't recieved credit for them. I was mortified and quickly took care of the $175 worth of fines and restored our credit. I have heard of one other person it has happened to since.
yikes! That is ...a scary sum. Maybe you could do some hard labor at the library - donate some food for the holidays to needy patrons?
This from a woman with $25+ in fines and has been offered a settlement of 5 cans of food & 2 plush toy gifts for the sheriff's fundraiser in lieu of paying the fine.
i love me some dr. seuss, but they are WAY overcharging you for that book. offer to buy it for them yourselves from them bookstore.
;)
Can't you just take them back in and say sorry and say pay $5 a book? Which is still a lot but not $210?
Wow!! That does seem a bit excessive...
I used to be bad about this when I was in school and such, but somehow I got much better. Mostly because if I had my library taken away I'd be lost!
LOL!
They bump up the replacement costs substantially, so you'll probably see the fines drop quite a bit when you do return those books.
Good luck tonight...
Heidi
"They had to rent a U-Haul and drop them into the outdoor book return bin under cover of darkness."
snort! That's a lot of dang books!
Love the new header.
Wow -that's made me think twice about joining the library. You made me laugh when describing that renewing online was just too much trouble - I know exactly what you mean!
WOW, i knew there was a reason I dont read! :). I am horrible at returning things.. that is why my poor kids have never been in a library! Sad I know!
I'm a fugitive from our former over some overdue fees for Angel Season Three....
Holy SCHMITT. $210? Wow, that's fairly respectable Rima. Color me impressed. It seems to me the library needs to rethink the policy. Don't they KNOW WHO YOU ARE? :) Sheesh.
That is too funny except for the $210. I hope you can take them back and just pay an overdue fine. I will definitely take my over due notices more seriously now.
Oh my! It would be cheaper to just buy the book. To bad the Library doesn't start up a system like NetFlix. That would be perfect for you.
Jillian
Have a Great Day!
Holy Crap! $210? You can return the books (thank goodness you can find them) and buy them one new copy of each at the bookstore and still come out ahead.
Oops.
Last spring, my sister's kid took a book out of the school library, lost it, paid the fine for the replacement, then found the book and returned it.
In the fall, the library sent home a note, asking that the book be returned or paid for. Because their record keeping sucks and no one had recorded EITHER the payment OR the return of the book.
PS - i like that your blogroll is in reverse alphabetical order.
I've got such a visual of you sneaking around the library wearing all black of course to return your books in the dark of night. I never even use the library because I know I'd spend the entire time worried about getting my books back on time and then I'd end of being late and have to move and change my name. It's a vicious cycle.
Lie, lie. You must lie and invent a sob story. That total is making me queasy...
Blah!!! I would freak out if I had a $210 fine on my library card. I freak out when I have a 20 cent fine. Fines are not allowed in my house. My hubby ever used my card he would be up the creek!
I agree with other commentors, just buy the books and give them to the library, and call it even.
enter why I do not use the GA public library system.
My husband wants to know why we just don't buy our books since we pay so many library fines. I figure it's like charity. The library can use the money right?
Sounds like the local book store would be cheaper than visiting the library. I have a memory thats as long as....wait what was I talking about? Anyway, great post.
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