Monday, January 28, 2008

Saturday Mornings Ain't What They Used to Be

The little J-dog has been waking up at 6:00 AM.

As soon as he finds himself conscious, he lets out a little cry of indignation, then quickly sets about the work of kicking the bejeebus out of the wall next to his crib.

He goes through his repertoire:

"Mama"
"Da-DEE!"
"No"
"Mine"
"Ball"
"Obama '08"*

Meanwhile, in our bedroom, the P-Dawg and I feign sleep. Who will be first to give themselves away?

The J-dog throws Doggy, Monkey, and Blankie out of his crib.


"Buh-bye buh-bye buh-bye!"

Then starts crying, 'cause, frick! Toys are gone!


He kicks on his low-on-batteries-since 2005 Fisher-Price Aquarium.

Twinkle, twinkle little whaaa-wha-wha-wha-wha-whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

After a few laps around the crib, he's ready to call in the troops.

MAMA!!!!! Da-DEEEEEEEEEE!!! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

In our bedroom, the power play continues. When it sounds as though the J-dog has taken up a sledgehammer and is mere inches away from bashing a hole clear through the wall, I say:

"J-Dog's calling you."

P-Dawg: "He said "Mama."

Me: "He said Da-DEE."

(Crickets)

Me: "I would go get him, but my eyes are glued shut. "

P-Dawg: "Ooof! My back is killing me."


Then the sound of the V-meister scrabbling at the doorknob before bustin' out of her bedroom in S.W.A.T. team fashion.

Little footsteps padding into the bathroom.

The sound of tinkling.

The sound of silence.

The sound of a roll of TP being unraveled in its entirety.

Then, "Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaa! I POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPED!!!!"

And we're up.

********************************************************************

Saturday mornings ain't what they used to be.

But they're not half bad, either.

One day, when the decades have passed like a bullet train, I will surely yearn for
cartoons and coffee on the couch among a jumble of limbs in assorted sizes, cozily intertwined.

And as the P-Dawg and I absently do the crossword over a breakfast of Sanka, oatmeal and prunes, the jangle of our stirring spoons will ring too loudly in a half-empty house.

We'll likely still rise early, unable to to linger in a lazy morning haze.

Because we'll know, as we suspect already, that time is not ours to waste.


*While the J-Dog is impressed with Barack Obama, he is as of yet an undecided and wholly ineligible voter.

*********************************************************************************

But, wait! I have bling to pass on.

The lovely and ubiquitous
MamaGeek (the blogger formerly known as Works for Mom) thrilled me to pieces with the "Daily Dose Award," which I've since learned is like saying "Your blog is a drug I cannot live without."



(I like to think of my blog as a Sudafed. Small, pretty, sugar-coated, it can clear your sinuses and give you a wacky little buzz, but is relatively harmless when dosing instructions are properly followed.)

And so without further ado, I would like to pass the Daily Dose award on to Slouching Mom, who has it all - a healthy dose of introspection laced with a bit 'o humor, all wrapped up in gorgeous prose.

The next piece of bling, the Sassy Mama Blog Award, is from Jennifer at Faking It. I recently discovered Jennifer's blog and am really enjoying her beautifully articulated and often humorous insights into motherhood and life in general.



I would like to pass the Sass Award on to Amy at Milkbreath and Margaritas. Just look at her profile pic - "sass" is her middle name.

Slouching Mom recently gave me this:



I KNOW!!!

I am asked to pass it on to ten bloggers, and they are:

Melanie at BeanPaste
Jennifer at Faking It
Beck at Frog and Toad Are Still Friends
Jen at Get In the Car!
Loralee at Loralee's Looney Tunes
KC at Where's My Cape?
Melissa at Domestic Irritation (who hasn't posted since November, but I'm still hoping she'll return because her blog is, indeed, excellent.)
Painted Maypole
Ruth at Ruthless In the Suburbs

and

The Shotgun Investor

30 comments:

Victoria said...

Pretty bling! And much deserved! Come visit me. My kids sleep in (I had to WAKE MY SON UP at 10am yesterday. For reals.)...we just argue over who is going to get up and take the puppy out before she poops in her kennel. Good times, these are, right? =)

Anonymous said...

What a morning. I'm falling asleep and completely ready for bed while waiting for laundry to finish...but I totally laughed out loud. I'll have mornings like that someday, but the Sergeant will really and truly be asleep through the whole thing. I told him today he could sleep through a hurricane, a tornado, and an earthquake all at the same time.

Anonymous said...

Ooh I remember those days of crib bangings. I did the same thing! Except that one time where he went through his whole act, then got unnaturally quiet. I guess all the poop that he smeared all over the place muffled any other noise.

(Today, I typed poop twice. WOW)

dawn224 said...

i still think that we get to use pregnancy to get us out of stuff ....

Melanie said...

Hey, thanks! A high compliment, coming from the Rimarama.

If they sold extra sleep in bottles, pretty bottles that could be arranged in attractive gift baskets, I would totally send you some. And buy some for myself, too.

Amy said...

This post was FAN-tastic! LOVE it.

And thanks for giving me an award! From you, it means a whole lot to me.

Melissa said...

Rimarama -- you're an angel! Thanks for the compliment on Domestic Irritation! My rusty blogging wheels are starting to turn again -- but I'm starting fresh at cordsandfleece.blogspot.com instead of D.I. -- a new year a new blog! Eh, why not? (By the way, I LOVE your new header and your Photoshop skills rock!) Thanks, again!

Anonymous said...

OMG that is my weekend, right down to the mwa-mwa-mwa aquarium. What makes them go from sleeping until 7 which is totally reasonable, to crack of dawn unreasonable?

Becca said...

Once you're up though it's lots of fun... like you said. We have the power struggle "baby? what baby? I don't hear anything" too.

Mrs. Flinger said...

Your Obamma disclaimer cracked me up.

And also, I remember thinking (just this past saturday) "remember when we used to sleep until .. say.. 8?"

The mister says, "no."

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

Your blog is so not sudafed. I'm thinking Vicodin. Oh yeah.

And why doesn't that dang aquarium come with a remote for the parents?

*le sigh*

Suz said...

I think you're right...I don't think that I'll miss waking up to an unspooling roll of TP, but I probably will.

Kellan said...

Great post Rima - I loved the oatmeal and prunes part - HA! Yep - it is definitely different on Sat. mornings with little ones around.

Congrats on your great awards - from what I've seen so far - you totally deserve all of them.

Thanks for coming by this evening - so nice to see you. Hope to see you soon. Kellan

S said...

Oh, Rima! I'm honored! And you'll never know how nice it was for me to read this at this particular moment, at the end of this ridiculously long day. Thank you.

And your post brought back a lot of memories...but what had me laughing out loud was the way the V-meister came out of her bedroom.

Because when Ben wakes up, and emerges from his bedroom, it's just like when Kramer comes through Jerry's door. It is loud, and klutzy, and dramatic, LOL!

Karen MEG said...

Congrats on the well-deserved bling!

I think your breakfast of the future sounds simply delish...oatmeal and prunes, hah!

I'm so bad at faking the sleep, I don't even bother. Hubs wears ear plugs and has ever since I've known him.

JCK said...

I loved this post. Sounded so very familiar, except we are past cribs and my boy can actually keep himself occupied until we get up at 6:05AM... Too funny about the TP unraveling. Have you had the experience of the whole roll being dunked in the toilet and then thrown away?

Huge congrats on your well deserved awards!

Nora said...

6am, eh? I remember not GETTING how my parents could be so SLOW to wake up in the mornings. What was their problem, anyway? Now? I get it. I'm a fellow sleep faker.

Family Adventure said...

You have no idea how familiar this all sounds....especially the AM pooooooop part.

Congrats on all your bling-bling. Can't even look, it's all so shiny and new.

Heidi :)

KC said...

Wow you award ho! (I mean this in the nicest way possible, you know). Your Saturday mornings sound joyful and probably a lot like ours will sound soon.

Thank you for the bling too- woohoo!

Beck said...

Congratulations on all the awards - and thanks so much for thinking of me! That's great!

justmylife said...

Enjoy these times, I got *lucky* enough to get a second chance at them with Little Miss. Though it can be annoying now, when they are 18 and you wonder if they are OK on Saturday morning, you will appreciate them. Congrats on the awards.

Jennifer said...

Hey, your Saturday mornings sound a lot like ours. We are slowly training the 7 year old to get breakfast for the other kids. It is well worth the gallon of milk on the floor each time. And your J-Dog is a good little man. Go Obama! ;)

And BLING! Congratulations on yours (well-deserved) and THANK YOU for mine! Not as well-deserved, but I'll happily accept. Made my day. :)

Karen Jensen said...

I'm impressed that J-dog is an Obama fan. I would have pegged him for an Edwards baby.

Anonymous said...

HA HA HA HA. We have the same morning routine, minus the tinkling preschooler. The sleep power struggle, the aquarium, the toy hurling, the immediate regret... Ahhhh. Think how many times this scenario must be played out all over the world.

Kellan said...

Hi Rima - thanks for coming by today - so nice to see you. Have a good evening. Kellan

painted maypole said...

hey thanks!

and I'm with J-dog. Obama '08!!!!

Jen said...

Wheeee! Thanks for the love!

Yay!

Avery Gray said...

The finest day of my life--my husband and I were bickering over who would get up when we heard my son get up and go into the bathroom, and he said, "Not you, Mommy. You go to sleep. Daddy can wipe my poopy bottom!"

Congrats on all the awards!

Leigh of Tales from Bloggeritaville said...

Enjoy your blog!

Loralee Choate said...

SWEET-O-RAMA!
(I totally kill me. HEE)