The P-Dawg had elective throat surgery on Friday.
(Who has elective THROAT surgery????)
It is supposed to greatly reduce snoring (awesome) and prevent sleep apnea. According to his surgeon, the P-Dawg is a classic example of someone who, without this cutting edge procedure, would likely end up bald and with a pot belly the size of Texas.
Did you know that people with sleep apnea tend to be overweight because lack of sleep actually produces a hormone of some sort that makes you hungry all the time? I just made up the bald part.
I think the surgeon also said something about Bingo and white socks with black sandals, but by this time I had already slipped him our insurance card and a roll of hundreds. SIGN HIM UP.
The P-Dawg, ever the optimist, was convinced he'd be back in the game in no time at all:
"It's no biggie, Rimster. They just shave off a bit of the soft palate, trim up the old uvula, maybe downsize the tongue by a notch or two. Easy peasy."
It didn't sound quite so innocuous to me.
"Shave off part of the soft palate? What is it, a block of Parmesan?"
But my attention quickly wandered.
"Ooooooooo! You said uvula!!!!!!!!!!!!" Har Har.
Anyway.
Now it's Sunday night and my poor P-Dawg is curled up on the couch, barely able to swallow the dew from the side of his Popsicle.
What's more, he can't talk and this is killing me.
I hope the surgery turns out to be worthwhile, because it sure doesn't look like a whole heck of a lot of fun from where I'm sitting. Please send P-Dawg soothing throat vibes. And don't ever let anyone with a knife near your soft palate. Just sayin'.
In other news, I found out today that the V-meister knows how to count to one hundred, and has for some time.
I heard her talking in her room a good half hour after bedtime and popped in to see what was up.
"Mama, I'm just lying here in my bed, counting to a hundred."
And I was all, "Oh, rilly?"
Because I totally didn't believe her.
But she can, and she did.
It makes me wonder what other skills my children might possess that I know nothing of.
What if the J-Dog is doing quantum physics in his head while playing Legos or launching peas off his high chair tray?
You just never know.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
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37 comments:
First of all, har har on the uvula. Another word to add to your 'words that make me laugh list' (right after pecker).
Less snoring, less pot belly, less balding. Hmmmph, sounds like a good surgery to me!
Hope he recovers well and is talking your ear off soon. Or at least before V counts to 200.
my gorsh you are funny. FUNNY! I hope P-Dawg feels better soon... take it one dew drop at a time!
Best wishes for a speedy uvular recovery, P-Dawg.
now, don't go all aggro on me, but i'm betting that it is prolly driving P plum crazy that he can't at least tell you to hush yo mouf while i imagine you gale force talky talk at that there wall o' P-dawg....
(hug)?
My girl snores, may have sleep apnea and already has a pot belly. We need to talk.
I hope he heals quickly and you see dramatic results!
Uvula! :0
My husband's snoring is so so awful, that is the ONLY positive about him being deployed. (And I'd gladly put up with the snoring to have him home with me all the time...but I have to look at the bright side, right?)
Hope all is well soon..
I can't stand snoring! Way back when... apartment days.. I could hear it in the next apartment. Ugh!
Hope everyone gets to feeling better around your house. :)
Am I turrible for wishing that my husband could lose the power of speech, if only for a few hours?
Tell the P-Dawg that we send our best Get Well wishes. Having your uvula trimmed doesn't sound like fun, but at least it's not a vasectomy, right?
And what a clever little V-meister!
I must remember to tell my hubs about the balding, beer belly future so that he will be motivated to get that surgery and I can get a good sleep for once. This would greatly reduce my need to punch and kick him in his sleep. I hope P-Dawg's surgery goes well.
Ouch! I hope P-Dawg feels better soon.
Just to prove you never know about people, I do quantum physics every day.
Hope P-Dawg is feeling better soon. Seriously tho', how bad was that surgery because my man snores something awful. Might have to look into that.
Wow, I got all excited at the thought that there's a surgery available to cure what ails me - mainly, my husband's snoring problem.
But the description of the aftermath of it leads me to believe I'm going to have to invest in earplugs instead.
Good Luck to the hubs on his surgery. My dad had this same surgery, Water would come out of his nose when he drank at a water fountain if he wasn't careful. Maybe you should warn him, maybe not, it could become a roll on the ground post in the future. Your choice.
i think your children have a hidden skill for shaving the soft palate. give them a knife, open wide, and find out.
;)
hope the p-dawg heals quickly and snore-free.
Youch!! Poor guy.
Hate snoring though. HATE.
Counting to 100? Pretty awesome! I'm still back here in the land where we get excited when he identifies a cat correctly.
Liv - Yes, I do believe it hurts him more than it hurts me ;)
Feel better soon, P-dawg!
ok ok ok, now riddle me this, oh great one. Is insurance covering that procedure? Because I have apnea in a major way and I think it is why I also have large assitis.
That just sounds really, really painful. Poor guy.
Flutter - The P-Dawg tells me that you must have severe sleep apnea to qualify, as determined by a sleep study. You know, where you get to spend the night in a lab hooked up to a bunch of electrodes and whatnot. He also said many insurance companies will have you try using a CPAP machine at night (kind of like a Darth Vader mask) before they'll authorize the surgery. Neither of these options sound particularly appealing to me.
Oh I love your blog...I am just a not so great poster!! :) Seriously, great stuff on here.
Yikes - throat surgery hurts more the older you get...didn't anyone tell the P-dawg? Heh, though since my husband also snores I'm not tellling him how bad it was, we may need that option someday.
ug. that sounds horrible! Poor guy.
I hope that it is all worth it in the end.
I just made up the bald part.
Hee!
But. Ouch. That sounds really painful. (Speaking as someone with a sore throat right now, it sounds particularly awful.) I hope it's worth it! You know, to keep the hair, and all.
He said uvula.
*snort*
I really hope he recovers soon, for your sake as well as his. It's no fun having an ailing spouse. Sending lots and lots of throat soothing vibes.
And that little suggestion about not letting anyone with a knife near my soft palate? Could not have come at a better time. I was just examining my soft palate and thinking to myself it's looking a little big. Thank goodness I held off on making THAT appointment!
Ouch from me, too. I hope he heals soon. I know THREE people (well, older men related to me in some fashion) who have had that surgery--and apparently it does work!
Awarded you...come pick 'em up.
Oh poor darling. There's nothing worse than recovering from any kind of surgery. It's just so brutal. Hand your honey a laptop? Elective throat surgery. Three words that really don't go together. Poor guy.
I actually had elective throat surgery, as well (for a different reason, though). I had a thyroglossal duct cyst which was removed along with my hyoid bone, which it was growing through. It could have been left alone, but I would have continued to have severe throat infections which resulted in me having a huge knot the size of a lemon on my neck, each time. So, I feel your hubby's pain. At least his was done through his mouth. I had to have an incision on the front of my throat. Looks real cute, now, and boy can I make up stories to explain the scar. :) Send him my best!!!!
Thanks!! Oh you should know I also created the Sassy Blog award you have displayed on your blog...looks good on your page and soo appropriate!!
Wow, that sounds awful. I hope it solves the problem and that his throat feels better soon! Also, interesting tidbit about lack of sleep = hungry hormone. I KNEW there was a reason I liked sleep so well.
I thought weight gain caused sleep apnea, but you are saying it's the other way around? Maybe it goes both ways? (That's what SHE said!)
My hubby has it, too, but when his weight is under a magic number, his snoring disappears.
The surgery sounds really really awful. I hope he's feeling better!
And my kids do that too - where they know stuff that you never exposed them to. Freaky. And as they get older, positively cringe-inducing.
I lurve that word! Will be saying it throughout the morning.
And I was right there with you on the who has ELECTIVE throat surgery.
Hope this helps with the snoring!
I'm getting a t-shirt that says "I'm not fat, I just can't sleep."
HOpe your husband recovers fast :)
It's scary, the smarts they can hide from us!
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