I have a lot of thotz on a regular basis, but can rarely call them forth when I sit down to post.
Last week I bought myself a snazzy little notebook for the sole purpose of jotting down incoming observations. It is red with gilded trim and has a magnetic clasp that causes it to snap shut in a very satisfactory way. Very satisfactory.
However, seven days into the great note taking experiment, the only thing written in my little red notebook is this:
When somebody offers you a breath mint or a piece of gum, are they just being polite because they were going to have one themselves, or are they trying to tell you that you have bad breath?
I don't think I can eke a post out of it, but I am curious. I would honestly like to know: What is up with the gratuitous distribution of breath savers, readers?
My personal preference on this matter would be that you save me the anxiety by not offering the gum/mint unless I actually have bad breath. If I want your gum, I'll ask you for a piece.
But if I don't have bad breath and you offer me a mint just to be polite, I'll spend the rest of the day breathing into my hand, secretly sniffing my armpits (which is neither here nor there), and generally obsessing about the horrifying possibility of body odor.
And even if you say "Jesus, Rima, I was just offering you a piece of gum", I will never believe you.
So let's just settle on a rule of thumb here and now, shall we? Can we all agree not to offer each other gum unless the person being offered the gum, like, really needs it, and also have an open understanding that if someone wants a piece of gum or a breath mint, they will simply ask for it?
This concludes my post for Wednesday, July 30th. Let's just hope the little red notebook sees some action tomorrow.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
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20 comments:
I only offer it because I'm about to have a piece and don't want to be rude. I rarely notice other people's breath because I don't want to be that close to them. heh
I agree that I only offer it unless I am going to have some. The sole exception would be my husband, but he is normally more anal about his breathe than I am...
Same thing that queen of shake-shake said about not wanting to be rude. But, when people offer me a piece I'm totally with you, "Does my breath really exude godawful odors?" I hope that others don't feel that way...I won't be offering up my altoids anymore unless necessary.
Mmm. Satisfactory snapping.
I'm with Shake Shake...I offer when I'm about to stuff my mouth with several pieces of Trident Citrus.
If you had bad breath I would make a point of NOT offering you gum because I would be paranoid you would know exactly why I was offering you the gum.
Which doesn't solve your problem at all, I know.
yep, I think the same thort. I also do that when someone rubs their nose - I wonder if they are trying to tell me I have a bogey (booger??) hanging from my nostril. I know I do that - just on the off chance that I also have one hanging from mine and want to get rid of mine first. See I'm doing it now. Is this paranoia?
I need a snazzy satisfactory notebook too.
Basically I offer because I don't want anyone blogging that I was a selfish bitch and never offered my Altoids to her (or him) when I was shoving them in my mouth. (Am I only thinking of myself while pretending to think of someone else, or vice versa??? There, now I've gone and confused myself again...)
I gotta say I would be offering because I was about to have some. I probably wouldn't have noticed your breath... I'm not a close talker, though. Once someone offered me a piece of gum when I was having a coughing fit at church. I was very grateful.
I offer gum purely to be polite. Except for that one time, when I lived in Ottawa and had to take the bus to work every day with my roomie who had very bad breath. He took a piece and then tucked it into his pocket protector 'for later.' That did not work out in my favour.
I have a notebook with sexy velvet on the outside. It sees a lot of action. Strumpet.
are you SURE you don't want some gum? No? You sure...?
Did you write this blog post to tell me my breath stinks? You did, didn't you? Jesus, Rima, indeed.
Well, I wasn't going to say anything, Rima, but, um... would you like to try out this deodarant?
If I had a notebook for my random thoughts and wonderings I would have carpel tunnel by the end of the week. Scary thought.
Or how about we make a rule that whenever anyone offers a mint or gum you take it regardless of whether your breath stinks or not. Just in case it does. ??
I also have the notebook to record the neverending voices in my head.
And I also offer mints or gum to be polite.
I worked with a woman with a good sense of humor who used to offer by saying "here, have a mint for your breath"
You had me at "Very Satisfactory."
Thank you. This has been bothering me for YEARS. Decades, even.
oh no, i always offer if I'm getting it for myself, and only on a RARE occasion because of someone else's breath
I swear at times we share the same brain. I always wonder if I have stinky breath if offered gum or mints. And like Tismee2 I wonder if I have a boogey if someone rubs their nose.
I have a notebook for post ideas, but I can never find it!
You have a real knack in finding writing inspiration in the ordinary, i.e., breath mints, stroganoff. and making it interesting and fodder for conversation. Congrats on your blog getting to AllTop. Look forward to linking to it. Best, Anna @
http://m80parents.blogspot.com/
I always get paranoid about my breath when someone offers me a breath mint. Thank GOD you've sent out a mission. Maybe all of us can change the world.
And that notebook sounds cool.
I never had any luck with the idea notebook until someone clever suggested I write ideas in the back of my planner. Worked like a charm! (Not that you'd know it from my blog).
And I sort of like being offered gum, and revel in the kindness of others, while me myself of course would only offer gum to a bad-breath-er. I know! I'm a hypocrite.
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