I just submitted the lamest essay in the history of humor writing contests to this competition. Every year I think, "I should enter that!" and every year I miss the deadline because I don't know how to use the alarm feature on my iCalendar.
This year my friend KC emailed to remind me about it in the nick of time. I couldn't just copy and paste an old blog post into the entry form (they don't accept stuff that's been previously published, even on a personal website), but neither could I restrain from giving it the old college try. So I chained myself to my laptop at the very last minute and tried to crank out some funny.
The funny was not forthcoming. I could barely string two words together. The kids were mouth breathing down my neck, my bra was digging into my armpit, and irritation oozed out of my every pore. Plus when I was putting the final touches on my stupid-ass entry, I was completely distracted by the sound of the P-Dawg trying to cough up a bezoar in the bathroom down the hall. It was the last straw vis-a-vis: my ability to produce humor, so I just spell-checked my pathetic essay and sent it off.
When the P-Dawg and I were lounging on the couch after dinner, I asked him what had happened earlier in the bathroom. "Because it was really hard for me to concentrate on my humor essay with you hocking loogies in there" I said.
"Oh, it was nothing" the P-Dawg answered. "I was just drinking some spice-infused coffee when I accidentally inhaled a clove. I tried to cough it up, but it got lodged in my nose."
"Oh, my God! Are you OK? DID YOU GET IT OUT?"
"No." the P-Dawg answered, "It's still in there."
And for a moment I was very upset with him, because an essay about one's husband getting a clove nubbin stuck in his nose would have been downright hilarious.
7 comments:
Well ya - he's your fodder right there.
Next time you hear anoying noises, grab a notebook and head in his direction!
I feel for him too! I sneezed during breakfast once, and ended up with a wedge of vegemite toast up my nose. That burned!
Can I ask how exactly he inhaled the clove while drinking? Unless his nose got a bit too close to that spice-laden liquid, and voila! Clove up nose.
Can't imagine that felt very good.
Although it had to have felt better than inhaling cayenne pepper, which my youngest did at 21 months.
ouch.
Nubbin!
Kelly - Apparently, it started out in his mouth but somehow became lodged in the back of the throat/nasal cavity during a vigorous coughing fit. It's still in there, BTW. I told him if he doesn't get it out by the end of the day, he needs to go see an ENT.
Nice post title! (You know how I love me some double meanings.)
Sorry the husband had such poor comedic timing.
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