Is It Puking Season Already?

Ever since I got all up on my high horse yesterday about not being a silly old mommyblogger, I’ve been paralyzed with fear about posting anything even remotely kid-related.

Which is why today’s post is brought to you by puke and boogers.

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Today the little J-dog and I arrived to pick up the V-meister from school a little early, and one of the other mothers who has a toddler the J-dog’s age was sitting with her little girl, Haley (not her real name), under a tree a little farther off from where everyone else was waiting.

The J-dog and I ambled over to say hello.

Lulu (not her real name) and I began chatting while the J-dog planted his face in the grass and assumed the “downward dog” position, his customary salutation in response to any stranger’s greeting. After a few moments, though, he became intrigued by the large boulder-type thingy on which Lulu’s little girl was climbing and mustered up the courage to stand upright and face the world.

Never one to resist an opportunity to inflict bodily harm upon himself, the little J-dog made a beeline towards the rock at the exact same moment that Lulu said to me, “Haley is feeling a little under the weather today. She puked all over herself and was running a pretty high fever this morning.”

[Cue Chariots of Fire soundtrack and watch in slo-mo as Rimarama begins her sprint across the expanse of lawn that separates her from the J-dog, who is now only moments away from coming into contact with germs of the yorpus-extremus variety.]

I intercepted the little J-dog and scooped him up out of harm’s way with just nanoseconds to spare. (Never you mind that he himself woke up with a cold this morning and has been blowing booger bubbles left and right all day long. My sanity is already threadbare enough without a member of the Rimarama household contracting the puking illness.)

A few moment of uncomfortable silence ensued between Lulu and me before I nonchalantly stated, “Hey! I’m going to go stand over there by, you know, the healthy kids. Godspeed to ye!”

My superpower of choice would be the ability to protect my children at any and all times from harm of any kind. In the meantime, though, I will settle for being able to go from zero to one hundred in two seconds or less.

(This post is my contribution to Moo'sMoo's Writing Challenge to blog about a superpower you would like to have.)

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Regarding yesterday’s post, I am sorry to report that my friend S’s blog seems to have evaporated into thin air and the post to which I linked is nowhere to be found.

It is the first documented case of blog self-destruction.

I am disappointed, to say the least, but I've decided that pursuing the issue is just not worth it.