I have an entire family of mouth breathers on my hands since the little J-dog began passing around the old germ baton Tuesday.
There’s something about mouth breathing that makes my skin crawl. Almost as much as my hands-down, number one I’m coming at you with a box of Kleenex and a sledgehammer pet peeve - the phenomenon whereby a person will LOUDLY suck the mucous that has accumulated in the back of his or her nose back down the throat and then swallow it.
If you ever do that in say, a movie theater, and I happen to be sitting nearby? I will whip my head around like a periscope and proceed to stare you down, shooting daggers at you with my eyes until the P-dog manually turns my head back to the forward position.
It simply amazes me that this technique has never actually stopped anyone from repeating the offense.
Anyway, it’s tough being a neat freak in a house full of kids who are manufacturing mucous faster than the Jolie-Pitts are adopting. I’ve been following the little J-dog around with a Kleenex and a wet cloth all day long (the cloth is for the upholstery). The very minute I wipe the couch down, he scrambles over to rub his face in it all over again.
He defies me!
Adding insult to injury is the fact that the manufacturers of childrens' cold remedies have deemed me incapable of properly dosing my child in the event I should choose to give him medicine and have decided to pull ALL INFANT cold medications off the shelves! I’m going straight to Le Tar-Jay tonight to see if I can round up any stray bottles that may have been overlooked during this purging.
But the good news is that Bill Clinton is a fan of Rimarama!
I know this because I got a hit from Chappaqua, New York the other day. And I’m assuming that it’s Bill who is reading my blog, since Hill’s busy on the campaign trail and what else could Bill possibly have to do than sit around the house doing crosswords and reading the occasional mommyblog?
Frankly, I’m surprised he didn’t discover me sooner, since I’ve written about oh so many topics of interest to him:
I hope you’re enjoying Rimarama, Bill. In the future, I will try to do more pieces with a political bent for your exclusive reading pleasure.
But for now, it's back to tending the old snot factory.
12 comments:
You would think someone could invent a contraption to fit over their noses and just absorb the snot all day.
Sheesh.
LOL.
I'd head to a discount store; those places are usually the last to hear about recalls.
On another note, I'm sure you've got Bill's attention now!
Some moron parents decide that two drops of medicine isn't enough, they must give more, so no infant medicine allowed. Amazing.
I hope the red store can help you out. If not, check the dumpster.
Jen's #1 pet peeve is also snorting, sniffling, and general nasal rudeness. A snorter in a theater/restaurant will get her death stare. It's true, the offending snorter just never gets it.
Good luck finding your recalled medicine.
ROTFLMAO.
I can't imagine what flu season is like in your house?!
- Heidi
I think J-Dog would fit nicely in my house of insanity. My daughter's been using the armrest of my couch
Publish Your Commentfor a napkin for the last six months.
And what are they thinking about the Dimetap. If I had a dime for every time I drugged my sick kids to sleep...scratch that. Pretend I didn't say it.
You slay me, dude.
SO, what the heck is it about the cold medications? Why do people have to be dumb and ruin it for everyone. I heard about it on the radio this morning and they were all "it's not unsafe... but people are stupid."
I thought it was only the multi symptom medicines... Who knows. I only feed my child childrens motrin in Berry flavor.
That's funny...I just noticed a visitor from Chappaqua on my site.
Damn. Bill must be bored if he's stalking the mommybloggers. Heh.
I love the idea of Bill Clinton lounging somewhere with a laptop reading about your kids' snot. Making me giggle.
i too love the idea of bill reading your blog. Hi bill!!! Come drop by my place, too! I'm a fan!
Post a Comment