Last week, I went for a preliminary evaluation to see if I'm a candidate for laser eye surgery.
First they had me fill out a questionnaire explaining why I wanted it. I knew I couldn't write "I hate my f*ck#ng glasses," so instead I talked about how they interfered with my quality of life. My glasses are making me fat by impeding my ability to participate in contact and water sports! I live in fear of being trapped in a burning building if I had to escape quickly and couldn't locate them! Also, they make it difficult to watch TV while lying sideways on the couch.
Not five minutes after I'd handed in my essay (did they read it?), a technician invited me back for a battery of tests. I had made the first cut! For the next hour and a half, that technician poked and prodded me. She had me follow a pinprick of light with my eyes, took pictures from different angles, and shot puffs of air into my eyeballs at random intervals, then snickered when I recoiled. (Optometrists get their kicks from administering the glaucoma test, apparently.) But we had a rapport, the tech and I, and felt certain that by the end of our time together, she would present a glowing recommendation to the surgeon.
When I finally went in to meet him, the surgeon started in on the old "good news and bad news" speech, but I cut him off at the pass.
"Give it to me straight, doc."
"Well, you're a . . .reasonable candidate. I like the thickness of your corneas and your pupils dilate beautifully, but . . . [whips out thermal relief map of my eyeballs and furrows brow in concern] there is a bit of dryness I'd like to remedy before going forward," he confided, pointing his laser at some suspicious yellow areas.
He assured me that he'd performed the surgery with great success on many, many people with my exact profile, but since most peoples' eyes become more dry for up to a year afterwards, it's a good idea to "get a handle on the dry eye" before proceeding. Also, there is no way to tell for sure how much drier my eyes will become post surgery and whether or not the condition would be permanent. Still, I left with a prescription for Re$ta$i$ and a tentative surgery date in early June, which I plan on canceling at the last minute.
Then I went home and spent way too much time surfing Lasik message boards, reading posts about Lasik disasters from people with screen names like, "Keep Your Glasses" and "Lasik Ruined My Life." Who I'm assuming got the two-for-one special at Lasers-R-Us and not the Cleveland Clinic Cole Eye Center, but still. I find this "reasonable candidate" business disturbing.
What to do? And who will win: my vanity, or the Internet doomsayers?
Friday, May 08, 2009
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13 comments:
Oh, I hate the glaucoma test! One thing i would "investigate" is what happens to you if it goes "wrong." Does it just mean you are stuck with glasses? Or, is there something worse that can happen? If the only possible negative is being stuck with glasses, what do you have to lose?
AJU5' Mom - From what I understand, the dry eyes can be pretty debilitating for some people, so much so that their vision is blurred from the dryness (not correctable with glasses) and it's so uncomfortable that they constantly feel pain and the sensation that there is something in their eye. Not fun.
Wow. I'm with you - I'd be very nervous and proceed with caution and much more Googling.
I understand your concern. I have dry eyes to the point I can't wear contacts. I had tear duct plugs put in. Helped a little. Had re$ta$i$. Helped a little. Corneas are a bit on the thin side, making me a somewhat risky candidate. Went to one of the top specialists in Canada (they've been doing it a lot longer than us "Murricans) and had the lasik. Thin corneas meant had to wear special contact lensy thingys bandages for 24 hours, which hurt like hell. After that I have never looked back and wish I'd done it years ago.
can you get a second opinion? sounds like an issue I'd look into further before going under the er, laser. but I dream of lasik too, so am kinda hoping you go first, with success.
i hate that puff test, too. it's partof why i balked at the idea of lasik... if figured it I can't do that without flinching how the hell will I be able to let them peel back my cornea (drugs... that's the answer to that!)
I had mine done in the fall of 2006, and it's the best thing EVER. My hubby had his done in 1999 - when it was still very, very new, and he is still very happy with his. as with any surgery there are risks. for me, though, I can't recommend it more highly. happy, happy me. when I think of what I used to go through with my contacts, I just wince. life is so much better without them!
I am too paranoid about something going wrong to do it. I have heard terrible stories about a friend's 20-year-old son and all he went through. I can't put myself at that risk.
Although I'd guess there are many more success stories than horror stories.
You do have very nice corneas.
I have a theory: nay-sayers, complainers, and people with problems are more likely to go on the internet and write about their issues than perfectly happy people who've been blessed by fairies. (ahem... silence as we contemplate ourselves in that little statement...)
Anyhoo, make sure your doctor is well-respected, take care of the dry-eye thing, and casually mention how you write for many popular blogs. No smart doc would risk putting you under the laser if he didn't think you were a fine candidate -- not to mention all the bad publicity he'd receive within the ever-growing blogging community if something went wrong. Think of your Blogging Popularity as malpractice insurance.
Lucky you with your thick corneas. My eyes are so bad I'm not even a candidate...I believe the comparison was "stretched out Saran Wrap" when I got evaluated. I can wear contacts though so I'm thankful for that.
Both my brother & my dad have had the surgery. I think if you go to a recommended surgeon, you're fine. Likewise, if the surgeon recommends getting rid of dry eye, do what he says. :) Getting a 2nd opinion always helps. Reading the internet horror stories do not. :(
You'll always find the bad stuff on the net... ALWAYS!!! I'm glad the doctor was straight with you, you can do something about it.
Oh I wish I had it done when it would have made a difference (to avoid bifocals, yes if you get it done before 35 or so, apparently you won't need reading glasses either!).
I'm just a big fat chicken! It's not just vanity, glasses can be such a bloody pain in the ass, I know!
Step away from the Internet Naysayers, Rima! Step. Away.
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