Hey. I don't mean to leave you hanging, with a flurry of posts one week, then nothing the next. It's just that I'm having a bit of a hard time right now. You know, just slogging through daily life. It all seems so overwhelming and I can't stand another day of snow.
I yelled at my daughter this morning - really yelled - for attempting to go to school with a full set of pajamas on underneath her uniform jumper and rainbow stripe tights. I thought she was being purposely defiant, but it turns out she was just pretending to be a firefighter. Of course I only discovered this after I'd let my freak flag fly and ruined everyone's morning.
As an act of contrition, I promised to let the V-meister wear her pajamas underneath her uniform tomorrow, firefighter style, but of course it won't be the same without the essential elements of stealth and secrecy.
I am so sad and disappointed in myself. For all the times I've flown off the handle, all the times I've been helpless to keep my anger in check. For all the joyful parts of their gilded childhoods that I've managed to chip away in small, fretful increments.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
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12 comments:
We've all been there.
Oh Rima, I so hear you. MANY times have I freaked out for no good reason and then felt like vortex of all fun. The winter doldrums are killing us all. Here's hoping spring is around the corner.
We all do it. It happens. Don't be so hard on yourself. Remember all the times that you remained calm and patient. We tend to remember the few times we loose it and forget about all the times we do it right. Luckily, speaking from experience as a daughter, the kids forget a lot of the bad and remember the good. ;)
Our daughters are not going to be perfect human beings. WE are not perfect human beings. When we make mistakes, it is how we correct our mistakes that imparts the most important lessons. You just taught her that it is OK the admit when we're wrong, and then to follow through to show our sincerity. That is SOOO important! Trust me, from what I read, you're a terrific mom.
(Just try not to lock her in the dungeon, forget to feed her, or steal her boyfriend someday. Keep that in mind and I'll think you'll both be OK.)
Hey - we have ALL been there. And yor blog seriously brightens my day. I used to read several dozen a day - I read two or three a day, tops, and I ALWAYS check to see if you've posted something new. You're a funny lady.
That is so me...I try so hard to be patient and understanding and sometimes I just explode over the dumbest things. Patience especially eludes me - for example when Alex is purposely putting both legs into one pant leg and telling me he doesn't know how to do it and needs help.
This is a tough time of year for me too. I don't really have any good advice to get through it, even though its been like this every year for me for the past eight. Lots of me-time and time with girlfriends has helped, and purposely spending extra cuddle time with the kids at night has too.
I like Melissa's comment about the lesson of admitting when you're wrong - that's a great way to look at it. And remember it's one incident out of one day. My current guilty weight is that last night Em started crying and fussing in her crib around 4am but then quieted down - I let her fuss it out and found at 7 this morning that she had the stomach flu. Not pretty. Lots of laundry. 3 hours sitting in it while I went back to sleep. Worst mom moment so far.
Winter is turning me into a really un-fun troll. I am so sorry.
Blessings on you. I hope today is a good one.
You are not alone, my friend. I sometimes think my kids would rather hang out with a seasick crocodile.
I hate the way I can switch so quickly from calm and controlled mommy to scary yelling mommy. I feel like I need to give more warning.
(I had typed up a longer comment before, but somehow managed to lose it. I'm sure it was brilliant, though. The comment that got away, and all that.)
Like everyone else said - been there. I think kids naturally remember the good stuff and filter the rest.
Being a Mom is hard.
Melissa already said it all! No one's perfect, it's how you follow up after those not-so-proud moments that matters.
In a related note, Julia was recently gifted a crapload of Berenstain bears books, and they totally get on my nerves. I've never liked them, not even when I was a youngster myself, and part of the reason they annoy me today is that while Papa Bear is always lovable (i.e. a good parent) despite being an idiot, Mama Bear is basically perfect. I hope that we moms don't have to be perfect to be good parents -- otherwise we're all screwed!
Don't be too hard on yourself. You're a great mom!
Oh gosh. I have so been there. Foot in mouth, kicking myself. I actually went to talk to my doctor about my anger issues. Getting things resolved now.
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