One day last week I walked into the house and started playing back the messages on my answering machine while the little J-dog busied himself nearby, polishing the floor with the seat of his pants.
There was only one message, and it was a wrong number:
CLICK HERE TO LISTEN.* (Just do it! But maybe turn the volume down a little if you're at work. Or around small children.)
After I recovered from the shock of hearing the words, "penis," "fart," and "butthole" on my answering machine, it began to dawn on me that thanks to Mrs. Doodle-Pro's dialing mix-up, a certain delinquent named David Smith would be getting off scot-free after shouting profanities aloud in Art class and sticking an Exacto knife, which he was not allowed to touch, in someone's face.
And I began to contemplate what obligation, if any, I had as an accidental player in this tragicomedy. Should I notify Mrs. Doodle-Pro of her mistake and bust David Smith's a$$? Or pretend I never got the message and let him sweat bullets indefinitely?
I decided to consult with my husband and moral compass, the P-Dawg, before proceeding. (But not before calling up everyone I know and gleefully playing the message back to them.)
In the end, I did contact the high school and left Mrs. Doodle-Pro a very awkward voice mail explaining her mistake and thus putting David Smith out of the misery he was surely enduring while waiting for his mother to finally receive the Phone Call of Doom.
Now, if I could just get the little J-dog to stop running around the house yelling, "penis," "fart" and "butthole."
* The recording has been slightly edited for brevity, privacy, and comedic effect. Your media player should pop up automatically when you click on the link, then just press the "play" button.
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
LOL! Poor David Smith! The world has probably not heard the last of him!
I wonder if you could have a little fun with that teacher, who by the sounds if it, has never before said any if those words aloud, and tell her that her erroneous message has caused you emotional trauma.
I love how she left the offending words on your answering machine without a disclaimer of any sort, like "BAD WORDS ABOUT TO ENSUE" or some kind of alert should there be small children around. She also enunciated so very clearly.
I think if I were in her class, I would also probably say those words a lot too.
I might be on David Smith's side on this one.
Hahahahaha!! I think you did the right thing. By calling all your friends and spreading the hilarity.
Incidences?
(Thanks for sharing this, Rima. I love how you edited it.)
HAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh my! That made me laugh. Probably because it wasn't my son that did it. ;)
Thanks for sharing it with us Rima! :)
She sounds like a barrel of laughs too. I can't believe she said the words on an answering machine. Couldn't she have just said he said some inappropriate words? LOL!
i think she must dropped the phone immediately upon finishing the call, wiped it down with purell and immediately gone to the ladies room to gargale with listerine to wash the impurity from her being.
i love that teacher. i love that she could barely stand even repeating the words. love! love! love!
also? frick! i'm david smith's mom. damn, damn, damn him and his potty mouth.
you nearly turned that into a rap. i think the local radio station would love it. keep editing! ;)
I will double-check the number carefully before I call home on any of my wayward high-school students.
I can't help but hope that the parents of the person in whose face the exacto knife was waved have a very strong reaction to the incident.
Why are my wrong numbers always bill collectors looking for someone with my (unusual) name? It's not nearly this entertaining.
Post a Comment