Rimarama Recommends

The other day, the Vidal Sassoon hair drier I've been using for the last ten years finally blew up. (That's right, Vidal - you don't look good.)

Its death was a long time in the making though, since it was already missing a few parts (like a filter and a thingamahoohoo that fell out awhile back), but the final blow (A PUN! DO YOU SEE?) came when it sucked a good handful of my coiffure into it's gaping hole of doom, then sputtered and smoked for a few seconds before kickin' it.

Vidal's demise propelled me to go forth and purchase a top of the line tourmaline hair drier with ion technology.

I'm not exactly clear on what an ion is, or how hair driers and ions became bedfellows, and I'm pretty sure tourmaline is a banned substance that went missing in Russia a few years back, but I will say that I have not had a bad hair day since I began using it.

This is what my hair looked like before (uh, fifteen years before, towards the tail end of a dorm party):

I Can Haz Ramen Noodlz?

As you can see, I had yet to be introduced to anti-humectant pomade (or the concept of brow maintenance.) Or a brush. In those days, all we had was mousse and gel and we liked it.

This is what my hair looks like today:

See How It Shines?

It is full of body, swing, and lustre! There is not a fly-away hair in sight! The ion/tourmaline technology locks in moisture and repels the chunks of food, dirt, dust, and insects that might otherwise become entangled therein.

It's as if I'm wearing a virtual helmet.

I paid around thirty bucks for this item at my local discount retailer. (FYI - you do NOT need to show the cashier your ID and/or proof of citizen ship to purchase this device. Shocking, I know, because of the tourmaline and all, but whatever, le Tar-jay. Don't come crying to me when the feds are a-knockin.')

And I'll admit, it was not without a little trepidation that I prepared to flip the "on" switch for the first time.

Would I develop superpowers from the ionic blast?

Would the tourmaline technology enable me to see through walls? Scale buildings?

COUNT BACK CHANGE?

To be quite honest, the blow drying itself, when it finally happened, was kind of anti-climactic, except for the fact that it took me exactly half the amount of time to complete the deed than it had with old Vidal.

I could not be more pleased with my new toy.

And therefore it is with great enthusiasm that I recommend space age ionic blow driers. If you have wet hair that you would like to make dry (yet healthy and lustrous) within mere minutes, you need one. (Unfortunately, I cannot tell you which particular brand I purchased myself because I am not getting paid even one red penny for this glowing endorsement. But they have them at Tarjay. It's the third or maybe fourth one from the right end of the display. Don't pay more than thirty bucks.)


Note to Readers: This post is what I call "scraping the bottom of the barrel." There is NOTHING going on right now. Hopefully you can look forward to a post of substance sometime later on this week. Or next.