Because I was under the impression that only veterans of the force and perhaps a few lucky family members held the unique privilege of brandishing these powerful emblems.
But friends, I am temporarily interrupting my holiday blogging hiatus to announce that I am now the proud owner of not one, but two F.O.P. stickers, one of which I have proudly displayed on the Ramamobile (and only because the P-dog snatched the other one for his own ride.)
You see, a few months ago, officer whatshisname of our city's force called during dinnertime soliciting pledges for their annual fundraising drive. I was extremely busy unwrapping our takeout from Eastside Hunan at the time of his call, and in my haste to dig into my lo mein with two dollar extra tofu, I made a hasty pledge.
(I had recently attended a neighborhood watch group meeting and felt that it was in my family's best interests to stay on the right side of the law. And the ossifer who called was so friendly, I felt like I was talking to someone's grandpa. Also? I couldn't risk forsaking police protection for the Rama household, what with all the drug activity in our hood.)
One thing about cops is, they're nothing if not persistent about collecting their money. Not two days later, I got a friendly letter from the F.O.P. reminding me of my pledge.
But I didn't know it at the time, because I put the unopened envelope on top of my Snyder's of Hanover Jumbo Pretzel Canister Bill Stack, which I instituted to replace my "bill bowl" after being strong armed into taking over the family's bill paying responsibilities:
Snyder's of Hanover Jumbo Pretzel Canister Bill Stack
with Shattered Nativity Snow Globe
It sat there, unopened, until a second reminder notice was received this past week. (Also, the P-dog finally took note of the towering stack of bills on top of the pretzel jar and began paying them willy-nilly out of fear that our power might be shut off at any moment.)
And that's when I discovered the F.O.P. stickers.
How awesome are my city's cops, that they sent me a second sticker in my follow-up pledge reminder letter, even though I hadn't yet sent the money I had promised? I salute you, men and women of the Dope Slope PD.
As I stated earlier, the P-dog is hoarding the second sticker for himself, so I was only able to put one of them on the Ramamobile (an '05 Chrysler Pacifica minivan hybrid, if you must know), but I think it sends a message loud and clear:
"You can't touch this."
You all may be wrapping up holiday preparations today, but the kids and I? Are going down to the Po-leece Depot.
Gonna pimp out the Ramamobile with some flashing lights and maybe a siren or two.
Lookout.
12 comments:
I didn't think anything could displace the Christmas carols in my head at this time of year. But you did it! Unfortunately, it's MC Hammer (Can't Touch This!)
Thanks. A. Lot.
I joke. Nice wheels.
Have a wonderful (drug-free) holiday with your family, Rima.
Rima, Really. I was okay with those FOP people until they started making harassing, yes, that's right, harassing phone calls to my home. Down here they were bullying and rude. Mama no likey.
When the officer called, did he say "Now this doesn't mean you can do 60 in a 25 mile an hour zone but if you're going a little faster than the limit they won't pull you over."
That's what the cop told me when he was selling stickers in Chicago. Ahh Chicago, such a lawful place.
Nice wheels! Your bill filing system, BTW, looks eerily like mine.
Lovin' that ramamobile look :)
Hope you're enjoying your hiatus. Me? I'm not enjoying your hiatus quite as much. But thanks for asking. Oh wait, you didn't. Never mind, then.
Seriously - Happy Holidays. I mean it!
Heidi
wow... if you keep not sending in your pledge, do you think you'll get more stickers? they'll look AWESOME on a tricycle!
Nice to see you back!
Wow. That is one dope ride.
Bitchin' ride, my dear! Have fun pimping!
Your ride, of course. Not the other kind. You may be an honorary member of the police force, but that doesn't mean you're above the law!
I've got M.C. Hammer going in my head now, too. THANKS, RIMARAMA. Gee, thanks! :)
What I would give for one of those stickers...
My dear you are too legit. Too legit to quit. (Now I am doing the stupid hand motions to that song.)
That is too funny! From what I understand - and this is just a rumor I heard from the retired IL state troopers who call for money - those stickers will NOT get you out of a ticket. Having said that, I've never seen a car with one of those stickers pulled over or in the process of being pulled over. But, that could be because there is no traffic enforcement in Chicago.
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