Hygienist: "Wow, it's been awhile since we've seen you, Rima!"
Rimarama: "I know! I was sick!" (not really)
Hygienist, stabbing at patient's gums with pick axe: "Oh, I'm sorry! A little tender, there, huh?"
Rimarama: "No problem!" (UR killing me, betch)
Hygienist: "Bit of inflammation around the gums here."
Rimarama: "That's weird! I've been flossing religiously!" (Iz "never" a religionz?)
Hygienist: "Have you been using your electric toothbrush?"
Rimarama: "Yeah! It's great!" (as a toilet scrubber)
Hygienist: "Just make sure you brush for the full two minutes and really get in behind those molars, OK?"
Rimarama: "Absolutely!" (not)
Hygienist: "Well, that about wraps it up for today! Will you be needing a new brush and some floss?"
Rimarama: "Yes!" (no)
Hygienist: "See you in six months!"
Rimarama: "Okey-dokey!" (hell to the no)
22 comments:
yes, i be hating the dentist myself. i am currently in hiding.
dude.. you make it every year? You're better than I am...
You should have called in "snowy". I also lie about flossing but I once had a wonderful hygienist who said that swishing with Listerine was almost as good. And you know it alleviates my flossing guilt, but I don't do that either.
Oh my God, I love you so much! I always try to lie about flossing, but mainly I get by with, "I'm British, my teeth are naturally wrecked and brown, y'all"
i am overdue for my yearly cleaning as well. they always say to me "you take such good care of your teeth, and it's obvious you're flossing" i never floss, so I think flossing must be a cruel trick they try to play on us just to see if they can get us to make our gums bleed every day on purpose.
I haven't been since my parents stopped forcing me to go when I came home from college. I'm ashamed. I was going to go to this one place where I used to live where they promised in their ad to not harass you about flossing. I wonder if they have that here.
I try to stretch the truth at the dentist's, but they ususal wrangle some sort of confession out of me. "Where were you on the night of January 7th?" they ask, shining the bright light in my eye. "I don't remember! But I wasn't at home flossing!" I sputter.
Oh poor, toothless Rima, where next year will have no teeth to floss ;p
I must be very lucky. The "gals" at my dentist's office don't ask many questions -- they just keep making suggestions. Over and over again. Either I'm lucky, or they've just given up. Either way, it's much less stressful.
Okay, I *do* floss and they still carve up my gums. I think it's a silent punishment for the fact that I don't go as often as they would like. Pshaw. Dentistry? Voodoo, I say.
I'm with liv on this one. Hiding from the dentist is a full-time profession. But I think I'm about to be laid off :(
that reminds me I haven't been to the dentist in foreva. not looking forward to that. and I totally like that too, oh the shame.
I've got very hardy teeth but the gums are like sponge (TMI I know). The hubs flosses even when he's drunk.
All hail to the photoshop queen... I love that shot!
Why is it that dental hygienists all have the power to elicit fear, deceit, and the distinct feeling that you are six-years-old again ALL at once?
I could probably handle that except that it is usually done with a lecturish, smug attitude that makes you want to rip the mask off their face and suck down vats of nitrous oxide simultaneously.
But is it really a lie if you have "been flossing" -- like 20 minutes before the dental appointment? I think not. At least, that's what I tell myself.
Hee.
Thank you for the kind words about my Spike. Everyone has been so nice and it really does help.
You crack me up - I FEAR the lecture about flossing. Absolutely fear it.
I only floss for the week leading up to my dental cleaning so the gums won't bleed as badly when they floss (and are they rough with the floss on purpose or is it just me?)
I am glad to know that I am not the only woman who lies to her hygienist!
I,too, lie to my hygienist. Oh..the shame. I'll keep your "real" comments to her in my head for the next time I go...to make it that much more fun!
I have a little SomeTHUN for you over at my crib.
Really. Does anyone floss?
I am currently hiding from the dentist for that very reason. I loved the honesty. Not many would admit that they don't floss daily *gasp*, that they don't brush for the full 2 minutes and around the very back molar *GASP*, and that they really didn't need that floss and brush *UNBELIEVABLE*.
I NEVER floss. I always think I'm going to start doing it religiously and then things that are much more fun than flossing get in the way.
I was at the dentist yesterday and had a nearly identical conversation. Yes, I believe never is a religion!
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